


You Rescued Me

by EllaAlyse



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst and Feels, Anxiety Attacks, Bellamy Blake & Clarke Griffin are Best Friends, BellarkePositivity, Clarke Griffin and Octavia Blake are roommates, F/M, Octavia Blake & Clarke Griffin are Best Friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-22
Updated: 2019-02-22
Packaged: 2019-11-03 20:06:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17884331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EllaAlyse/pseuds/EllaAlyse
Summary: Clarke has anxiety attacks and Bellamy is always there to keep her grounded.





	You Rescued Me

**Author's Note:**

> This is for the Bellarke Positivity challenge on Tumblr.  
> This is for "Four Rescues".  
> This is my first Bellarke one-shot.  
> Hell, it's my first Bellarke story.  
> I did not have a beta so ALL mistakes are my OWN! I'm sorry :\  
> On the other hand, this is a growing process, I know it isn't perfect so feedback would really go a long way for me.  
> I hope I tagged it well, the tags are complicating.
> 
> Enjoy!!!

  Clarke dreamed she was sitting atop a grass hill behind her childhood house. Her father was calling her from the back door to come in before the rain. There were a lot of hills in the Valley. But, this particular hill was not only directly behind her house. At the top was a huge Oak tree. Easily, three times the height of her "middle-class-suburban” home. The leaves were deep green and the trunk of the tree was bright brown and filled with life.

  She would draw up there most times, like she was in the dream now, only when she looked back down at her sketchpad after calling out to her father, there he was, clear as day in her own drawing. Although, blood was splattered all over his body, his face was distorted, smeared with...a water drop? The sky broke then with a clap of thunder so loud, Clarke knocked her sketchpad off her lap and onto the grass. The rain started to pour down hard, Her father's disgruntled bloody body washing away on her page.

  Clarke hurriedly scrambled her things and began her descent down the hill.

BOOM!

  The thunder roared, followed by lightning so big and bright that it hit her home setting it ablaze. She screamed, but no sound came out. She could hear her mother and father screaming for her. She broke out into a sprint, yet it seemed like she wasn't getting anywhere. The hill just became longer and longer and her parent's voices became more frantic and distant. She tried to reach out abandoning her things to the rain, and yet the fire just got bigger and she got further away. She figured if she leapt she could get somewhere. So she did.

   The next thing she knew she was falling, tumbling down the hill, but the grass wasn't green anymore, it was black, stained by the ash as the smell singed her nostrils. She couldn't breathe. The rain that had once been there was gone. Replaced by falling ash that looked like snow. Her house was condemned. Burned all the way to the foundation, but she could still hear the screams. Wake up! She yelled to herself. Nothing. She tried to fight, but all she could see was black.

   Consciously, Clarke knew the panic was coming. She couldn't strap herself in before it happened so when it hit, it knocked her out of bed. However, that didn't wake her up. She was beginning to feel as if she was falling down the rabbit hole in Alice in Wonderland.

   The panic crashed into her over and over, setting in her skin, chilling her bones. She gasped, but no air reached her lungs. She still couldn't see dammit. Then the weight came. It felt like thick ropes were working as constraints around her arms. She couldn't fight it. Then the voice washed over her body. It was garbled and distorted and it sounded like a monster. She didn't want to see. She squeezed her eyes shut, but the monster kept talking. Then it stopped.

   The ropes stopped moving and she still wasn't free. Her eyes stayed glued shut. The monster spoke again, this time it sounded an awful like...

 "Clarke! Clarke! Clarke! Hey, I'm right here. It's Bellamy. I'm here, Clarke, I got you. Open your eyes Princess."

   It felt like a life saver was thrown into the abyss. It was Bellamy. Her Bellamy. Her best friend in the whole wide world. Recognition set in and she let it wash over her like a shower head.  
 

   Bellamy Blake her best friend since 10th grade. Her former enemy through most of grade school. Her college roommate's brother. Bellamy is her best friend, her family. Clarke stopped squirming so she could hear him more clearly.

"That's it, I'm right here. Your eyes are still closed. I'm here Clarke. Remember your breathing. In...and out...In...and out. That's my girl. Come on, look at me. Please, look at me." He begged.

   Bellamy begging was so heart wrenching and he sounded so tired. She needed to comfort him. So she breathed in a few more times and then slowly opened her eyes. She was greeted with dark curls and a million freckles stretched by a soft sad smile. He began the circular movements on her arms again, calming her down. She tried on a meek smile.

"Ahh, there she is. Hi. You okay now?"

   She didn't trust what her voice would sound like, so she nodded instead. He moved two inches to grab her a glass of iced water, never taking his other hand off her arm, knowing it was her tether to sanity. God, she loved him.

"Here, drink this."

   She drank the entire glass, her hands terribly shaking, only to be rewarded by a water bottle and anxiety pills. After she took the pills, there was a long silence. Bellamy's hands still rested on either side of her arms. His thumbs rotating against her biceps. He cleared his throat before he asked.

"Are you okay? Do you want to talk about it?"

   Clarke waited to answer, until she felt her voice was steady enough.

"I'm okay. And no I don't want to talk about it. It was the same dream as last time, but I was drawing on the hill instead of sleeping, the end."

  Bellamy gave her a quizzical look.

“Okay, well do you mind telling me why you were screaming my name like I was being murdered in front of your eyes?”

  Clarke was temporarily stunned. Bellamy wasn't in her dream, was he?

“I called you?”

   Of course, it made sense that she'd call him, she had only been in love with him for seven years. She remembered going to bed knowing he was out there spending quality time with his sister, Octavia. She had wished he was in bed next to her, and that's what lulled her to sleep but maybe her subconscious wanted him too.

“I'm sorry.” Clarke's head bowed in shame.

   She didn't know what she was apologizing for. Either for waking him by screaming bloody murder or not having enough courage to express her feelings for him. Maybe, it was both.

“Hey, don't apologize for needing someone. It isn't my first anxiety attack ya know. From you or O. I'll always be there Clarke.”

   When she looked back up at him he was smiling at her so soft it made her heart break a little more, beat a little faster. She loved him so much.

   She could only count the number of times he had rescued her from her spirals on one hand, but each one was just as significant as the times he wasn't there. Four in total, including tonight. Her anxiety wasn't always a problem, although, right at the beginning of her junior year in high school her house burned down, her father burning along with it. She might have been okay if it wasn't all her fault. That, however, was a story better left for Dr. Kane on Tuesdays and Fridays.

   The first anxiety attack she ever had Bellamy was there. They were at a teen rave celebrating her, Bellamy, and Octavia’s near perfect SAT scores at the end of junior year. The warehouse they were in was so packed you could feel every single person's body heat. The air was thick with whatever drug was being passed around. The AC wasn't working so well and the windows were too high in the ceiling to circulate the cool night air. Then the band started playing and they were playing with fire.

   Clarke didn't understand why her body started shaking uncontrollably, or why it felt like her heart was beating out of her chest. She immediately knew it wasn't a part of the “partying” she was doing. She needed something to grab, someone...and then Bellamy was there, practically gliding her out of the building...or was he carrying her? It's still a little fuzzy. He rubbed circles in her arms outside, the same way he’s doing right now. Telling her to breathe in and out. Reminding her she was still on the ground.

   Afterwards, he explained what it was that happened and Octavia explained that she had them too when she was younger, traumatic stress due to her father locking her in the broom closet. They told her about medications and a few months later her mother found Dr. Marcus Kane, Psychiatrist to the disturbed.

   After that most of the attacks only happened when something was considered a “trigger” for her. Fire, was the main one.

   The other two times Bellamy was there were her graduation and the car accident her and Octavia was in last year.

   At graduation it was because she couldn't find her mother afterwards. No matter how hard she looked or how loud she called, there were just too many people around. She couldn't find Octavia, but she knew she'd be with Bellamy and her mom. Of course, Bell got to graduate early so he wasn't apart of the ceremony. Clarke looked for both of them to no avail.

   She'd had three other attacks since the first one at the warehouse, but this one felt different because she didn't have anyone there with her. When the shaking came, followed by the sweating she could feel herself drift off the ground. She didn't exactly know how she ended up on the side of the music hall building where the ceremony took place, but all of a sudden she had hands on her body, pulling her back to the ground. When she came to she was clutching her knees for dear life and Bellamy was holding her the best way he could. She fell for him just a little but more that day.

   The last time he was there was only ten months ago when Octavia got ran off the highway in the snow with Clarke in the passenger seat. It wasn't a bad accident, but it could have been so much worse. The car tail-spinned and Octavia got it under control enough to guide it into a ditch on the side of the road.

   At first, Clarke didn't even recognize she was already in the middle of an attack because she was so busy checking Octavia, making sure she was okay. Octavia called Bellamy and 911, but it wasn't until she could hear the sirens did the panic set in. Octavia, being keen to Clarke's triggers, knew the sounds would set her off. She tried to calm her down, tried to make her breathe, but the closer the sirens got the more the anxiety set in.

   Luckily, Bellamy didn't work that far from where they were so he got there the same time the ambulance and fire truck did. Clarke could hear his voice, but she couldn't reach him. The tears poured down her face until she felt herself being crushed in his chest. He had told her the same mantra over and over again, yet each time sounded brand new to her ears. “Breathe, In...and out...in...and out.” he told her. He was the only one who could calm her down enough to give her name to the police before she passed out.

   Back at the hospital, he stayed with Octavia for most of the night, (She ended up with a mild concussion and a few cuts), until their mom got off of work. Although, around 2 a.m. he visited Clarke, who had also had a mild concussion and a few cuts and bruises. His eyes were red like he had been crying and he looked so tired. He sat on the chair by her and scooted it to her bed, careful not to wake her mother asleep on the other chair. Clarke, rarely slept so he knew she'd be up. He grabbed her hand and told her he wouldn't know what to do if he had lost both of them. She assured him she wasn't going anywhere and Bellamy, content with that answer held her hand and slept with his head rested on their entwined fingers until the sun showed through the curtains. She fell for him completely that night.

   Now, looking at him smiling at her and telling her he'd always be there, even though they're adults now and she should be able to handle her attacks herself, made her heart ache. She wanted to tell him so bad. She wanted to close the distance and wrap her soul around his body. Yet, all that came out was a quiet sob and gratitude.

“Thank you for rescuing me. For always rescuing me, I...I-I really appreciate it.” She couldn't meet his eyes and impossibly stutter.

   His hand came under her chin and he lifted her face to meet his. He smirked at her and bore those brown eyes into her skin. They stayed like that speaking with only their eyes for what seemed like forever. It may have been “unspoken”, but he knew. He had to know. She noticed a new freckle on his nose. He broke the silence first.

“I'll always be there to rescue you Princess.”

 


End file.
